Best About Me For Dating App
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You may think you’re a pro when it comes to online dating and your dating apps, but I think there’s always more to be learned. For instance, there’s a lot of factors, right? Think about it — aside from choosing profile pictures that best represent you, there’s what to say in your online dating profile. While pictures are important — and maybe some people (okay, a lot) seem to swipe right based on pictures alone — words are, too. Some think “a picture’s worth a thousand words,” but they do not always tell the whole story.
“It can be so easy to just look at pictures on your dating app and swipe right,” Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, tells Bustle. “You’re in a flow, and they’re so attractive. What could possibly go wrong? But you’ll actually save yourself time, frustration, and potentially disastrous messaging/dating later if you’ve taken the time to read their profile from the get-go. Otherwise, you risk missing critical information like, ‘In an open relationship. Wanna join us for some fun?’ or ‘Just out of prison. Let’s do this!’ There are a lot of very attractive, but undateable, people out there.”
Yes, there are people who don’t write anything in the “bio” section. But several dating experts I spoke to recommend filling in the blanks. I used to write people’s dating profiles, and I’m telling you — having one makes a huge difference, i.e., more well-suited matches. Below, you’ll find what you should write in your online dating profile, according to the pros.
1. List Your End-Goal For “Why” You’re Dating
“The partner who knows what they want is the partner who’ll get what they want. Far too often, we enter dating without stating our true desires. We wrongly assume that will reap greater results. Yes, it will open your profile to more interest — but not to the type of person you want to date. Without your end-goal clearly stated, your prospective partners will have a greater opportunity to push their agenda. Don’t be afraid to say what you want upfront. Our ‘why’s — i.e., ‘I want to date and have fun,’ ‘I’m looking for a committed relationship,’ or ‘Looking to marry and start a family’ — need to be in sync with those we date. It saves time, energy, and a battle of wills.” — Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of Allowing Magnificence
2. Include Info That Will Start Conversations
“A lot of individuals need to have fodder to make conversation. It’s very difficult for people sometimes to put themselves forward and try to make that first move. Tinder’s double opt-in makes the process of understanding whether another person is interested in you incredibly transparent and efficient. Making the first move and initiating a conversation still may not be easy for some people because they may not be naturally confident engaging in conversations with new people. For some, thin information may feed the lack of confidence because they don’t know how or where to begin a conversation. By providing a bio, you are including information that matches can easily draw upon to get a conversation going.” — Tinder Sociologist Dr. Jess Carbino
3. Show, Don’t Tell
“Paint snapshots of your life rather than listing adjectives and your likes. Who are you and what is the essence of your life and hobbies that you want to convey? Plenty of people claim to be an adventurous lover of life who loves to travel. Give them a visual of how this is true: ‘Packed a bag and met my friend in Japan with 24 hours’ notice!’” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
4. Include Your “Must Have”s
“Don’t be afraid of openly stating who and what you are. It will all be revealed in time, anyway. Might as well start from the best position possible. Give your prospective dates a true idea of how you live your life. Include information about the kind of hobbies, interests, and values that define your personality. Being your partner means being in agreement with your day-to-day lifestyle. Stating important truths up front will aid your ability to match with the type of ‘resonant others’ you’d like to date.
If you’re a dedicated athlete, that means you live a healthy lifestyle. You won’t want to waste time with someone who loves clubbing till 4 a.m. when you’re getting up to run each morning at 5 a.m. If you’re newly sober, include the fact that living a clean lifestyle is important to you, and that you neither drink nor take drugs. If you follow a specific religion or spiritual path that defines your daily lifestyle, that’s also important information to share. This can also include your sexual preferences for expression. If you know your sexual lifestyle dictates a specific type of partner, don’t be subtle. State your needs clearly to avoid future conflict.” — Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of Allowing Magnificence
5. Be Upfront About Your Relationship Status & What You Want
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“If you’re interested in hookups, don’t contact people who don’t have that included in their profiles. The likelihood of you not getting a response is about 95 percent.” — Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and author of the relationship blog, You’re Just A Dumbass
“Your online dating profile is a great opportunity to do some of the work that dating in person would normally do if you didn’t meet online. In other words, you can use your online profile to filter for what you do and don’t want. For instance, if you’re looking for someone who’s not separated, but truly divorced, say so. Lots of people think they’re single because they’re living alone, but the reality is they’re separated and have been for years with no divorce paperwork in the process. Ask now! Save yourself some time, energy and money.” — April Masini, aka “Ask April,” New York–based relationship expertand author
“My friend began a serious relationship with a man who stated he wanted a ‘calm’ woman. She tried in earnest to amend herself for him, but what he really wanted was a seriously committed submissive. She broke off the engagement and he was stuck with having bought a home for them.” — Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of Allowing Magnificence
6. Be Honest
'Whatever your current life circumstances are, just be honest about it. Ultimately, the person you want to be with will be supportive.” — Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and author of the relationship blog, You’re Just A Dumbass
“Eventually you’re going to meet and date this person, so don’t lie about yourself, your hobbies, or skills. No one wants to plan a date for a ‘surf lover,’ only to discover that person can’t swim.” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
7. Be Positive
“Keep your wording positive, confident, and succinct. At best, you get about 10 seconds to wow your perspective sweetheart. If you fill that space with negative language, what you’re not looking for in a partner, arrogance, or long, run-on sentences, you’ll be dateless.” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
8. Show Your Sense Of Humor
“I encourage a sense of humor, something that makes your reader smile and think, not just wonder if there is attraction or not. Remember, a good match doesn’t make us feel great — we feel great because we feel great around them. If I’m smiling to myself because of what they say or write, imagine how great I’ll feel in their presence!” — Jeffrey Sumber, MA, MTS, LCPC, psychotherapist and bestselling author of Renew Your Wows!
9. Avoid Clichés
“Clichés are overused in life, but even more so in dating profiles. What makes you different and interesting? Play that up, keeping it fresh and unique to stand out from the easy-going, glass-half-full crowd looking for their ‘partner-in-crime.’” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
After all, the more you know about someone, the more you’ll have to go on when trying to see if the person would be a good fit for you.
Best About Me For Dating Apps
Images: Fotolia, Giphy
Your written profile is gold mine of opportunity. A lot of guys overlook it. Here's why you shouldn't, plus 25 easy ways to take advantage of it.
Q: 'Why should I spend a lot of time writing my profile? It seems girls only care about messages.'
You’re right: good first messages (that start conversations) are absolutely critical in online dating.
Except when girls get a great message, it doesn’t mean we immediately hit Reply. First, we look at your profile.
Your great first message tells girls to give your profile a shot. What you write about yourself is the final word on whether we reply.
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'So my written profile actually seals the deal?'
Yes! Your profile tells girls you’re a fit for us in personality, lifestyle, and sense of humor. Basically, that we’ll like hanging out (and making out) with you.
When we see you have a great profile, we get extra psyched that you wrote us that great message. Now we want to immediately reply to your message before another girl snaps you up!
'What should I write to make her want to reply?'
This article has specific profile tips for your long-game.
In short, the trick is using lots of detailed self-description, and avoiding general descriptions (like “fun-loving” and “active”). Using examples from your life is the best way to do this.
Instead of listing general characteristics (like “active”), ask yourself Why? What? or How? to get to the specific details:
Why would you describe yourself that way?
How doyou back that statement up in your everyday life?
What it is that you do?
Why do you do it?
You’ll stand out from other “active” guys when you answer those questions with something specific, like:
“I run a couple miles every day after work. It really clears my head. Zombies, Run! is the best.”
When you use that extra detail, you create common ground and conversation-starters.
For example, that statement above could hook girls who also run to clear their minds, or use the app, or have heard about the app but want to know what you think…or girls who have no idea what zombies you’re talking about and now want to ask you about it!
'What else should I write about to stand out to girls?'
Here are prompts to create conversation-starter specifics in your profile:
1. What do you live to do on the weekend?
2. Describe your ideal Sunday morning.
3. What was the last concert you went to? What did you think of it?
4. What are your short-term goals for yourself this year?
5. What personal qualities make you especially good at your job?
6. What do you like best about your family?
7. What’s your favorite thing to do with your best friend?
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8. What aspects of yourself are you most proud of?
9. What activity or moment makes you happy to be alive?
10. What have you worked hardest to achieve in your life?
11. Outside of work, what do you spend the most time doing?
12. What do you wish you did more often?
Remember: also answering Why? What? or How? to these questions gets you those deeper details that girls love.
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13. Look at that list of the six things you couldn’t live without. Explain why you couldn’t live without them. It doesn't have to be long and elaborate...
This guy does a nice job of quickly adding some extra personality:
14. What’s one long-term goal you have for the next five years?
15. What characteristics do all your friends have in common?
16. What are you most thankful for this year?
17. What life experiences have shaped you the most?
18. What’s the best movie you’ve seen recently? The worst?
This guy follows that up by answering What? and creates a bunch of conversation-starters:
19. Describe how you’ve been shaped by a person who is important to you: a professor, your nephew, a boss, your grandfather, etc.
20. What are you looking forward to most next month? (If your profile remains active past that event, then revise it to describe the experience you just had – and pick something new you're looking forward to.)
21. What games do you like to play with your friends? (Cards Against Humanity, Catan, HORSE, WOW, DDR – whatever. It’s all good.)
22. What’s your favorite thing you know how to cook?
23. What do your friends ask you to handle at parties? (Beer selection, the music, loosening up guests when they first arrive, etc.)
'I want more ideas!'
24) Be really random:
Being a little random and irreverent can be good. You don’t have to take every question seriously. Let your sense of humor come out! As long as you don’t make a joke out of every question, girls will eat that shit up.
25) Make a list.
Freestyle it for a little bit, listing anything you can think of that you enjoy. You’ll stumble upon some unique facts about yourself! Plus, girls who love the same things will instantly feel the sense of connection.
When I read a list this good, I want to marry it and have its babies:
Basically, as Amelie taught us, there’s something so delightful about an obscure list of things you enjoy:
','url':'http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sppkUL6fqDI','width':854,'height':480,'providerName':'YouTube','thumbnailUrl':'http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/sppkUL6fqDI/hqdefault.jpg','resolvedBy':'youtube'}'>'How do I know when to stop?!'
A couple of these prompts (for each section on your profile) are more than enough to let your true personality shine through.
Just pick a few that show your sense of humor, some deep thoughts, and what gets you psyched.